Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Drive Dangerously

Edit: Later on today, the new front page featured a graphic that read: "Dad Says Missing Girl Was... STOLEN." Fox seems to have much love for the "ellipses-caps lock" approach." You know what this means, right? The counter on how many times this gimmick is used begins... NOW! (I am guilty of this as well.)

Yes, this was on the front page of Fox News.
Take note, MSNBC. Fox News understands the raw power of ellipses and the might of caps lock. Here's the story it jumped to.

Sunday, February 1, 2009


I have not posted anything in awhile. It's probably because I am hiding from immortal jellyfish.

Also, this happened:

Snuggie sold over 4 million.

The cult is growing.

Which side will you choose? Highlander jellyfish or the way of the Snuggie? Keep in mind that one of them comes with a reading light. I won't say which one.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Obama Appoints Spider-Man

So far, I have been very happy with Obama's picks for his cabinet:

Yes, this happened.

Also, the fine people at Cracked pointed out this gem:

Any commercial that starts with "HEY! YOU LOOK LIKE A REAL JERK!" is fine by me.

Lastly, I am seeing Animal Collective in two weeks. Their new album scored a 9.6 out of 10 over at Pitchforkmedia. I have yet to hear it, but you can check it out when it gets released on January 20.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Cult of Snuggie

Excuse me miss, but are you trying to tell me that this robe is a blanket?

Also, why does everyone look like they are from the Stonecutters?

Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen the end and it is comfy and made of fleece. It also comes with a reading light.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Pizza Party!

I am impressed by stupid things. Today, I ordered pizza online for the first time. Domino's has a pizza tracker. You can track the progress of your pizza in real time. Is this what heaven is like?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

New Format? Maybe.

This blog isn't very focused. That should change. Somewhere in between the end of summer and moving to a new city, this blog became gradually more personal. No one's interested in that...

Here's a meteor:

Sunday, November 23, 2008

My Six Things

As requested by my favorite Frenchie, here are six things you may or may not know about me:

1) I used to play a lot of sports: Yes, surprise, surprise. The most unathletic guy ever played on some teams in junior high and high school. Now, wait, I didn't say I was good at them. I'm just saying that I played them. In junior high, I was on my school's basketball, soccer, baseball and flag football teams. In high school, I was on the track team for a year. Also, I was in the city swim team for about four years. However, probably the most embarrassing thing I did was gymnastics in middle school. Yes, I did cartwheels, handstands, headstands, roundoffs, etc. I also did karate at this time. Don't ask me to try any of these things now, though. I pull something every time.

2) I performed theater in Scotland: Back in 2003, I scored a spot in my high school's play, "The Se7en Ages of Bob." The play was pretty damn good and it was written by our improv team moderator. The play was 40% improvised with suggestions for scenes coming from the audience. Our theater group was then good enough to be invited to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland. I hung out there for two weeks seeing international theater while performing on the Royal Mile. Afterward, I joined my school's improv group, "Sanguine Humours," and had a blast. FYI: You might see me on stage again soon. I am considering enrollment at the UCB theater in January.

3) I'd like to be a professional writer: I've been working on some short stories that I'm thinking about sending to a few magazines. I still haven't really figured out my whole life yet, so I don't know if I'll be a writer or something else. Right now, I just seem to work in production.

4) I don't have any tonsils: When I was about four or five, my parents noticed that I had a really strange sleeping pattern. Breathing... and then not breathing. The doctors said the tonsils had to come out and that was that. I still snore, though. ;-)

5) I ran for president in high school: I'm not sure that I was too serious about it when I did this. It was sort of a fun distraction for me at the time and I figured if I got elected, I'd do a good job anyway. Only problem was, I didn't campaign too much. There was a candidate forum that only 200 people showed up to. I took out my guitar and played a ridiculous song about our school's parking problems and code of conduct. I got a few good laughs out of that. I also posted ridiculous fliers of myself in track gear with the goofy campaign slogan: "I don't run with scissors. I run for President." I didn't win, but the guy who did liked me enough that he came up to me after the election and asked me to be his adviser. So, I did that instead.

6) I was in a lame high school rock band: Yes, I was the lead singer and rhythm guitar player of "Panda Mona," a progressive metal band with songs about, um, what were the songs about? British mythology? Ancient Rome? Politics? The month of October? I don't know, but whatever I wrote, it was incredibly pretentious and stupid. Likewise, the band argued every two weeks about what the band's name should be. I think we went under four or five different names and every time the names got worse. Also, the bass player kept firing everyone. Hell, even I got fired! My firing was amazing, though. I got fired through the band's Web site. Looking back on it, it was all pretty funny.