Pizza Party!

I am impressed by stupid things. Today, I ordered pizza online for the first time. Domino's has a pizza tracker. You can track the progress of your pizza in real time. Is this what heaven is like?

New Format? Maybe.

This blog isn't very focused. That should change. Somewhere in between the end of summer and moving to a new city, this blog became gradually more personal. No one's interested in that...

Here's a meteor:

My Six Things

As requested by my favorite Frenchie, here are six things you may or may not know about me:

1) I used to play a lot of sports: Yes, surprise, surprise. The most unathletic guy ever played on some teams in junior high and high school. Now, wait, I didn't say I was good at them. I'm just saying that I played them. In junior high, I was on my school's basketball, soccer, baseball and flag football teams. In high school, I was on the track team for a year. Also, I was in the city swim team for about four years. However, probably the most embarrassing thing I did was gymnastics in middle school. Yes, I did cartwheels, handstands, headstands, roundoffs, etc. I also did karate at this time. Don't ask me to try any of these things now, though. I pull something every time.

2) I performed theater in Scotland: Back in 2003, I scored a spot in my high school's play, "The Se7en Ages of Bob." The play was pretty damn good and it was written by our improv team moderator. The play was 40% improvised with suggestions for scenes coming from the audience. Our theater group was then good enough to be invited to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland. I hung out there for two weeks seeing international theater while performing on the Royal Mile. Afterward, I joined my school's improv group, "Sanguine Humours," and had a blast. FYI: You might see me on stage again soon. I am considering enrollment at the UCB theater in January.

3) I'd like to be a professional writer: I've been working on some short stories that I'm thinking about sending to a few magazines. I still haven't really figured out my whole life yet, so I don't know if I'll be a writer or something else. Right now, I just seem to work in production.

4) I don't have any tonsils: When I was about four or five, my parents noticed that I had a really strange sleeping pattern. Breathing... and then not breathing. The doctors said the tonsils had to come out and that was that. I still snore, though. ;-)

5) I ran for president in high school: I'm not sure that I was too serious about it when I did this. It was sort of a fun distraction for me at the time and I figured if I got elected, I'd do a good job anyway. Only problem was, I didn't campaign too much. There was a candidate forum that only 200 people showed up to. I took out my guitar and played a ridiculous song about our school's parking problems and code of conduct. I got a few good laughs out of that. I also posted ridiculous fliers of myself in track gear with the goofy campaign slogan: "I don't run with scissors. I run for President." I didn't win, but the guy who did liked me enough that he came up to me after the election and asked me to be his adviser. So, I did that instead.

6) I was in a lame high school rock band: Yes, I was the lead singer and rhythm guitar player of "Panda Mona," a progressive metal band with songs about, um, what were the songs about? British mythology? Ancient Rome? Politics? The month of October? I don't know, but whatever I wrote, it was incredibly pretentious and stupid. Likewise, the band argued every two weeks about what the band's name should be. I think we went under four or five different names and every time the names got worse. Also, the bass player kept firing everyone. Hell, even I got fired! My firing was amazing, though. I got fired through the band's Web site. Looking back on it, it was all pretty funny.

The Saturn That Got Away

I was this close... but the dealership I went to (my mistake for trying to buy a Saturn from a non-Saturn dealership) tried to completely empty my wallet by making me pay $3,000 more than the asking price in interest.

Then the guy tells me that I'm "overthinking it" and "back-peddling." This went on for quite awhile and it felt like he was trying really hard to guilt me into paying $3,000 more than was necessary.

So, I looked at him and without raising my voice or yelling, I said (and this is paraphrased because obviously I don't remember every single word):

"You've just told me that since I am a first time buyer and I do not have an extensive credit history, it's risky for your dealership to finance me. In other words: You're worried that I won't be able to pay off this car at this price... and you're solution to this is to charge me $3,000 on top of that through interest. So, if you don't think I'm going to be able pay the original price, why do you think I'll be able to pay this new price with $3,000 on top? Tell me, am I overthinking that?

No, I don't think so because that doesn't make sense! I have been told that any interest rate above 6% is kind of a rip off. The rate you came to me with at the beginning of this bargaining process was 17%. I'm not trying to get in your face here, but I also know that we're in a recession and you're not really selling too many cars right now. You asked me what I want. I want to pay the price that this car is worth."

Then we parted ways and as I was going to my car, the assistant came up and said, "What about 10%?"

Thanks, but no thanks.

I Claim the Weekend

This was a crazy week and I'm not even talking about the elections (and I don't have to since everyone has already). I had so much stuff going on! Everyday there was something nuts!

One fun thing that happened though was that I met John Henson at a bar on Monday. I used to watch him on "Talk Soup" in middle school and junior high. He left the show in '98 or '99 I think and I just never watched it again after he left. He seemed pretty flattered that I remembered him from that show and offered a hand shake. Really nice guy.

Anyway, other than that, I was invited to a few parties this weekend and I'm really looking forward to relaxing. Also, I checked out some cars last weekend and I have singled out two... so I'm buying one this week! My first car and I'm paying for it entirely on my own! I know, it doesn't sound like a big deal, but this feels like a big step in my "adult" life for me.

All Saints' Day

Waking up to walls covered in cobwebs and rooms filled with pumpkins, ghosts and skulls, my roommates and I decided to just leave the Halloween decorations up for the rest of the week. Our party yesterday was just too much fun.

I am hopefully going to go look at cars tomorrow. I had planned a trip for today, but then the thunder storm hit, so I figured it would be better to test drive a car when it wasn't raining. I didn't do a whole lot today, but I think I am okay with that because I can't remember the last time I spent the whole day to myself. Some friends are coming over later tonight and I think we'll either see "W." or "Zack and Miri."

All in all, I had a pretty interesting week and I did a lot of traveling as well. I can't elaborate, but it was fun to be in other places.

The Griffin

My roommates took me to an awesome bar last night. The place? The Griffin in Atwater Village. On the outside, it may not seem like much other than holy crap they have a giant GRIFFIN!

The inside looks like Harry Potter's retirement party. On a Friday night, the place is full of 20-somethings and the room is only lit by candlelight. The middle of the room has a fireplace and the inside looks medieval as it is all stone and arches. The drinks are great and so are the people. Highly recommened!

Habits, Halloween & Hunter

So, I don't know why, but I just seem more organized since I've moved out here. My room is neat. My desk isn't cluttered. I don't have cups of water everywhere. My laundry pile isn't huge. I go to the gym regularly. I read and play guitar more. I write again.

Maybe because I have so little free time, I just utilize my time better and I have less time to be disorganized and messy.

Right now I'm just figuring out what I want to dress up as for Halloween as I do have a party coming up.

For some reason Ichabod Crane came to my head today. I'm thinking of going with a more classical Halloween theme. I like costumes that are simple and I especially like costumes that do not require face paint or props. I don't like masks or things that cover my face either. Basically, I like something I can be comfortable in all night. I'll figure it out, I'm sure.

Currently, I'm reading Fear and Loathing in America by Hunter S. Thompson. It's his second volume of letters and essays. Man, I wish journalism was still like that. All those wild and crazy adventures on someone else's dime. I want to travel all over and write crazy things. You'd probably have to figure out a source of income as you travel, though. I read the other day about a guy who is trying 50 jobs in 50 weeks. I don't remember all the details.

If you were confined to just the United States, though...

Cheap Motel ( I dunno $50/day?): 50x365 = $18,250
Gas (Considering the crazy travel per week): 150x52=$7,800
Food: 100*52= $5,200
Entertainment: 60*52= $3,120

Total money to freeload and travel for a whole year (excluding taxes and emergency funds): $34,370.

So probably you need more like $45K-60K to "comfortably" do a Hunter S. Thompson for a whole year. Unless you save up and do not plan to work as you travel, then you don't need to worry about taxes. I think? Otherwise, plan like crazy.

Beware of the Goonch

Just in time for Halloween, a man-eating catfish.

Speaking of fishy things, I have a message for a certain hookah waitress: I am a generous tipper. I frequently tip 20% or more and I am almost always polite and patient since I know how busy it can get in a restaurant.

However, if you practically yell at my table for only ordering hookah and no drinks, then, after I ask for the check, take 30 minutes to bring it and upon your arrival, slam it on the table and say, "Oh, do you want your check?" then take another 20 minutes to pick it up and charge us, thus making me unable to attend my friend's performance downtown, I will not be happy.

For the first time in my life, I told my friend who picked up the tab this time to put "zero" on the tip line...

and he did.

Next time, be a little nicer to your hookah patrons. Otherwise, the hard-earned cash you seek--




could go up in smoke.

Economicexpialidocius

I do not have any control over the economy other than when I act like a good American and buy gas or Apple products. So, I don't really worry about it and, no, this is not another great depression. According to the analysts that I have had to watch all day on CNN, we are in the same place we were in 2003. I don't remember a Black Friday then, but of course, I was in high school then and did dumb stuff like sing in a progressive metal band called Panda Mona. So, maybe I missed it.

Requiem for a Dinosaur

Dear Denver the Last Dinosaur,

You're supposedly my friend and a whole lot more...









but sometimes I wonder.

What's the Frequency, Kenneth?

You know, some days you start the morning in just the right way and it can totally make you forget that it's Monday and you have to go to work.

Today was one of those days. I woke up on time. I took my time. I didn't rush. Then, when I turned on the car, REM's "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?" came on. I felt awesome.

At work, I finished all the things I needed to do as well as the things I wanted to do. I flew the coop early while the sun was out, made time for a hair cut and then fixed some chicken and mashed potatoes. Afterward, I caught up with the latest episode of "Dexter."

It's only 8:30 pm and I have time to read, play guitar and even write a short story on my patio.

So, I think I'll go do that. :-)

Driving, Driving

I went to the Bay and back to L.A. over the course of a day and a half. I got all the stuff I had left in Sunnyvale and hauled it off to Glendale, which reminds me, vote yes on that ballot proposition to create a 200mph train from L.A. to S.F. Thank you. That is all.

Heroes & Villains

I just finished watching the two-hour premiere of "Heroes" and I had the same averse reaction to it as I did when I saw "Spider-man 3."

SPOILERS AHEAD!

I loved season one of "Heroes" and I enjoyed season two, despite complaints from critics. However, this fall opener left me worried. The fun of "Heroes", initially, was its cleverly crafted stories and the way they linked together. The show also respected its audience and grounded the characters in a way in which you could say, "If there was a world with super-heroes, this is indeed the way they would act or behave." The show took very logical approaches in dealing with the humanity of these "super" humans. It also took the time to flesh out each storyline.

This was not the case in last night's two episodes. It became very clear to me that the show just has too many characters. Everyone's plot was rushed and the writing seemed lazy. Let's take a step by step approach.

Continuity: Ok, I know that in the last season, the premiere started months after the incidents that happened in the first season finale. Later, one of the episodes showed what happened during those four months. The writers played with the timeline in a way I thought was fun. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Nikki Sanders's death occur at exactly the same time as Nathan Petrelli's shooting? If this is the case, then how is it that as Nathan is in the ER, Nikki has had enough time to survive the fire, assume the name of Tracy, woo the Governor of New York and become a leading political adviser?

If the writers know what they're doing still, then I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are going to come up with a plotline in which Nikki is able to split off from herself like a starfish and that many years ago she spawned a clone. Another possibility is that the sister of hers we were told was dead never actually died.

Also, what happened to Peter's Irish girlfriend? He just left her in the future and never came back?

Future Peter vs. Present Peter: I really hope that there is a good explanation as to why a character that can regenerate and heal all of his wounds would have a scar in the future. Also, why is future Peter such an asshole? In season one Peter was painted as pure of heart. No matter what happens in the future, I just can't get my head around as to why future Peter would even fathom the idea of going back in time to kill his brother. I mean, Peter did stray a little last season, but this is strange. Additionally, Mama Petrelli acts like Future Peter and Present Peter aren't the same person. She has nothing but love for Present Peter, but Future Peter is "not her son?" Can I assume or hope that Future Peter is also some kind of clone that is NOT the same Peter?

Mohinder & Maya: Maya should never have had a storyline on this show! She adds nothing to this show. Likewise, Mohinder is also starting to lose his purpose. His speech in which he finds out that the Heroes' abilities come from their adrenal glands was like something out of a bad 1950s sci-fi flick. I wish the writers had done more research to at least make the medical jargon sound believable. My God, all those pauses in his "Euereka! I've found it" speech were so contrived. Additionally, Mohinder wants powers so he can be special, too? We have Sylar for that! To boot, everything in this storyline felt ripped off from "The Fly" and I'm talking about the 80s version with Jeff Goldblum. Oh no! My skin is peeling! Buzz, buzz, buzz!

Now, for the good:

Hiro: His storylines are always the most fun and his new rival is perfect. Speed over time, anyone?

Sylar: Still the creepy villain that goes bump in the night.

Good Friday

"Burn After Reading" is pri-tay, pri-tay, pri-tay good. Saw it with Abe and crew last night. Brad Pitt is hysterical in this and, as always, JK Simmons steals the show, despite his bit part. Afterward, we made some drinks and geeked out to "Mario RPG" and "Guitar Hero." It's sort of a weird thing, by the way, when you find yourself saying, man, I wish I was as good at "Guitar Hero" as I am playing real guitar.

We also encountered a hilarious game that is having trouble with its release date: "Brütal Legend."

This thing is ridiculous. Think everything metal plus Jack Black or, here, let me give you an excerpt from Wikipedia:

"Brütal Legend follows the story of Eddie Riggs (named for Eddie the Head, the mascot of Iron Maiden, and Derek Riggs, the artist who created him), who is living as a roadie for a Heavy Metal band. The game begins one night before a gig. As Riggs is tuning a guitar, an accident happens and he starts to bleed, his blood dripping onto his cursed belt buckle, which bears a strong resemblance to Motörhead's Snaggletooth emblem. Before he knows it, the beast on his buckle has come alive and transported him into a Heavy Metal and Nordic fantasy inspired alternate history where demons have enslaved humanity."

If that's not enough, Eddie's weapons include a battle axe and guitar. Supposedly, if you perform the ultimate guitar solo, your opponent's face melts off just at the sheer awesomeness of your shredding. I ask you this: Is that not metal?

One of Those Days

Woke up late, got a parking ticket for being on the wrong side of the street on a Thursday, was sarcastic when I shouldn't have been, flooded the kitchen because I used the wrong soap in the dishwasher and ruined imported goods.

Here's hoping for a good Friday.

The Zero Decade and Music

Update: Now that I think of it, rock-umentarians will probably include Weezer in this history, but will they consider the group as a '90s or '00s band? The band's best songs came in the '90s, however, it released twice as many albums in the '00s and retained greater popularity in this decade. Oh, and, in case you are wondering, I am only focusing on mainstream groups because, come on, even I know indie bands are often forgotten.

Bands from the sixties and seventies have maintained legendary statuses. Everyone still knows the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Creedence Clearwater, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, the Eagles, the Who, Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, etc.

Very few people remember the names of the bands from the '80s. However, the decade did produce a lot of one hit wonders that are still on a lot of playlists (i.e. "Take on Me"). I'd say the only '80s artists that people will still remember in future decades are the Police, U2, Madonna, Van Halen and Michael Jackson. The Cure and Depeche Mode may retain a cult status, but they will not be as high up there as those musicians and singers. Ok, ok. Duran Duran and Genesis may also survive.

Now, the '90s has plenty of bands that, yes, our grandkids will probably have downloaded to their brains. (I assume in the future that we install chips in our brains and skip the whole "having to learn crap" phase. See #4.) People will probably still remember Radiohead, Green Day, Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam--ok you get the point. I say this because this was actually a very inventive stage for rock music in the same creative vein of the '60s and '70s. The alternative rock movement broke away from the mostly superficial music of the late '70s to late '80s (disco and new wave) and encouraged *gasp* songwriting. Unfortunately, finally bringing up all this teenage angst brought us...

The emo-whining of the Zero Decade. No one will remember such "gems" as Staind, Nickelback, P.OD., Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance or whatever band involves traditionally bad singing over generic guitar shredding.

So, who might last from the Zero Decade? Well, it seems that Radiohead and Green Day have again claimed this spot. However, I will maintain that Green Day will always be considered a '90s band. Radiohead, on the other hand, is a little more difficult. I predict that future generations will call Radiohead an '00s band and not a '90s band. While its biggest hit single to date, "Creep," came out in the '90s, Radiohead didn't really score on any top ten U.S. album charts until the '00s. All four Radiohead albums released in the '00s (not including the live album) made it to the top ten. Radiohead only released three albums in the '90s and I do not believe they made it on the U.S. top ten. Thus, I conclude the band is more popular in this decade than the last.

Still, how about bands that are indisputably '00s? These (although they are not exactly on my playlist) I predict will have a long shelf life: the White Stripes, Incubus and Jack Johnson.

Well, actually, I do like the White Stripes.

Now, one '00s artist is on my playlist and will actually be considered THE rock star of the '00s... and he doesn't even play guitar:

Kanye West.

Did I miss anyone? Could the Strokes, Interpol or Franz Ferdinand have long shelf lives? The Shins?

Lil Wayne Is the Antichrist (Apparently)

I ended up having to work on Sunday and I had to go around all of the VMA commotion happening on the lot. Amid screaming teenagers and busy crews, one guy standing at the gate caught my attention: He was wearing a sign that said, "Lil Wayne Is the Antichrist." At first I was skeptical, but now that I think of it, it explains this album cover:


Anyway, after work I picked up a mattress for my new place and then had dinner with Mack at the Santa Monica Pier. I had only been there once and it wasn't at night. In the evening, the pier looks pretty damn gorgeous with its lit carousel, etc.

Back at my apartment, I unloaded my new bed, shelf, desk and three-drawer dresser that I found collectively on craigslist for $105. Big savings there! I've been in L.A. for three weeks now, but it still hasn't hit me that this is where I live. Mostly that is because I didn't move into my apartment until a few days ago and I just got my furniture (I still need to get some of my boxes from Sunnyvale, too). Still, now that I am pretty close to having done all my move-in stuff, I am starting to get some inspiration to write. So, I think it's time for me to accomplish that big goal I set for myself 6 years ago...

VMehs?

The Video Music Awards will be filmed at my work this weekend, but I'm not sure I have any interest in going. I'm sure the studio will do a good job, but I can't imagine sitting there for three hours watching people get moonmen.

I'd only go to check out the live performances, but it's not the style of music I listen to, so again, it's not for me. (I can already see Nicki going, "What, Nick?! You don't want to see the Jonas Bros?!")

Also, I'm not really one of those, "you'll never guess who I was in the same room with" people. Unless I have a formal conversation with someone, it doesn't seem that neat.

However, it is hosted by the British dude from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," which I thought was hilarious. I guess it depends how I want to spend my Sunday evening.

On another note, I love the radio stations here. They actually update their playlists and one station, Indie 103.1, is like someone stole my iPod. Oh, I know. Nick and his "indie" music, so pretentious. Bite me.

Lastly, I officially move into my place tomorrow. I've met a whole lot of new people here and I have this renewed vigor for life that not even a 3-hour organic chemistry final can take away. Does that sound too Chicken Soup? Well, whatever. Friends up north, if you plan on visiting L.A. anytime soon, I have a fresh new pad you can crash at. :-)

WOO-HOO!

I got an awesome apartment with great roommates! I need to chill out. The place I thought I had made a bad impression at chose me after all. I move in next week!

Looking for Fair Land, Living on Landfair

Work is fine. Just been putting in long hours. I never feel tired at work. I just feel tired when I get home, which would be okay, except I'm sleeping on a couch right now at a UCLA fraternity. I have to be in at work at 5 a.m. tomorrow and I don't mind because the job is really fun. I have to do that about once or twice a week, but I've gotten used to it.

Now, if I could just get an apartment. I found this great place in Glendale that has great roommates, but I don't know if they'll give it to me. They have a number of people checking it out and I was really tired, so I don't believe I made the best first impression, to be honest.

Homelessness aside, I'm happy to be here.

L.A. Whoa, Man

So, I'd tell you about my first day of work, but I signed a confidentiality agreement, so I can't. At any rate, I can say that I enjoyed my first day and everyone I met was nice.

Right now, I'm hunting for apartments, but more importantly, cool roomies. The task is a little daunting, but I'll have a lot of time this weekend to look around AND figure out how far or near everything is.

Also, I went to Google headquarters the other day. They had a huge party and I rocked with KP, some Germans and good ol' Dina from my freshman Nexus days. Dina and I found robots and battled each other. I think she kicked my ass. Then there was a lot of techno, video games, great food and open bars. Also, they had a giant stage for "Rock Band." The Germans recruited KP and I for their band, "Das Wankers" and we did a rousing rendition of the Ramones' "Blitzkrieg Bop."

So It Begins

My boss wants me to come in early to get acquainted with everything. So, I am now leaving on Wednesday. Anyone want my Radiohead & Beck ticket for this Friday in SF? It's a print-at-home ticket, so I can email it to you.

WWW: Welcome to the Working World

So, I got the job. I start in a week, but you know me, super paranoid. Don't want to jinx it. They wanted me to start this Wed. but I asked for just a few more days to get all my stuff. They were cool with it. Hopefully, they don't forget.

Anyway, yes, after all the papers are signed, I will officially be working on a network talk show. You can ask me which one on facebook or gmail chat, if you're curious. I don't want to say which show on here just because I reckon the producers don't want me blabbing to the world wide web about it. Also, I'd probably get Google-bombed.

The job is basically a 60-hour work week but it pays alright. No complaints here. It's the kind of job where after awhile you might get moved up and things get a little easier, so it doesn't bother me too much. It's not too different from the lifestyle I had before at the newspaper.

Now I am just looking for a place to live. If you know anyone in the L.A. area who needs a roomie, let me know. I'm scrolling through listings, but I see that a lot of people screwed themselves over. I've seen plenty of nice places for super cheap. The people who are looking for roommates are overpaying, I think.

Oh, and I am borrowing the parents' car for a week or two. I'm going to be shopping for my first car in L.A. If you know of a good dealership, the advice would be much appreciated.

Lastly, while I'm packing my stuff from the Bay Area, I will take a short break this Friday to see Radiohead and Beck at the San Francisco Outside Lands Festival in Golden Gate Park. If any of you are going or would like to come with, hit me up. It's going to be a great concert.

Mexican Wedding

I'm on my way home from Mexico City and man did I have a good time. My aunt's wedding was great and I'll put photos up later. Holy crap did we eat and drink a lot! Eating here is so different. When we went out to a restaurant, we stayed there for like 8 hours eating both lunch and dinner at the same place. My family is awesome!

A Mexican wedding is something else. When my aunt came down the aisle, they did not play "Here Comes the Bride." Instead, they played this traditional Spanish music, which may or may not have to do with the fact that the groom's side is mostly from Spain. It sounded very tango-y. The setting was amazing, too. There were candles all over the room and white tables shaped like cubes that had lights in them and, of course, an open bar. Don't worry, UCSB was repped well, in fact, VERY well.

The wedding lasted until five in the morning. At four o'clock, I nearly died when they told me they were now serving breakfast: Nachos just the way I like them! They had a great wedding singer and a saxophone player, too. Also, there were over 200 people there, all dancing and having a great time, some with sombreros and maracas (ahem, me).

In other news, holy crap, I have a job interview this week for a show you might be very familiar with. I can't say which show just yet, but I will tell you my job description sounds awesome. If I get the job, and hopefully I do, I'll announce the show later. Weird, though, that I got the call about the interview the exact day after I said in my blog that I feel like I'm about to get some good cards here.

Lastly, to answer some questions about my last post:

1) Cara de torta because it comes from a a Spanish phrase that means "not to worry."
2) By "Face time" I meant going to job expos and conferences. Not walking all one zillion blocks of L.A. Geez, Nicki, what am I going to do with you? ;-)

Cara de Torta

I am currently sitting in a factory in Mexico. Oddly enough, the past couple days I have been taken to a sushi restaurant and a French restuarant and both were better than similar places in the U.S. Only a few more days until my aunt gets married.

In other news, I got a rejection letter from some place I did not know I even applied to. Apparently, I sent a job application on July 21. According to the email, the person received over 700 applications, which probably means mine did not even get read. This explains a lot. Crap, I wonder how many places that I have applied to have received so many apps. If that is the case, then I think it might be time to take a stroll through LA and get in some face time. Man, summer is not a good time to look for jobs. Everyone is looking at the same time and the jobs are mostly simple so it is not as if an amazing resume will do anything. Luck of the draw, I suppose. Well, I am a pretty lucky guy. I think I am going to get some good cards soon.

VP Madness

You guys hate it when I talk about politics. I know. It's boring. However, I find it fun to hypothesize who is going to be VP. So, I'll try and make it fun for you. We'll do a pool. Winner gets $20 bucks or the equivalent.

Let's begin. Who's going to be Obama's VP? According to AP, Obama is picking between these three guys:

• Gov. Tim Kaine (VA): Pretty much a newcomer, but he claims he's Obama's #1 choice. (Note: That story focuses on how he endorsed Lieberman for Pres in 2004. Interesting.) What's his deal? He is Catholic and has a history with the same social justice issues that Obama cares about, even spending time doing work in Honduras with the Jesuits during the 80s. He's all about fair housing, gun control, restricting the death penalty, blah blah blah. Yet, he has some weird positions. He claims he goes by his faith and that on religious grounds he is against gay marriage and abortion. Still, he says he would never ban either because he believes those are for the people to decide. Eh, have fun explaining that during the debates.

My Verdict: There's only one reason, I think, that you'd mouth off to the press about being on Obama's shortlist--you aren't really as far up on that list as you'd like so you need some public support to put pressure on Obama's team. Also, strategically, I don't know how important Virginia is or if he will help with those 11% who claim they haven't made up their minds. Undecided voters are interesting. I suspect that most of them vote Republican, but are just embarrassed to admit it. Why? If I had to guess (and that's what I'm doing), they are socially liberal, but fiscally conservative.

• Sen. Evan Bayh (IN): A former Gov. of Indiana, he has the record of having the largest win of any Dem in that state. Supports higher education and fiscal responsibility (BS words, but hey he wastes less money). Dude has worked a lot with health care and has some foreign policy experience having dealt with committees related to Armed Forces and Intelligence. He's one of the guys who pushed for Rumsfeld's resignation. He also says we're wasting time with our plans to stomp illegal immigration. What his plan for that is, I'm not sure. Yet, he also has sat on committees that deal with international trade and small businesses. Additionally, he has put a lot off focus on dealing with Iran.
  

My Verdict: He is very good for strategy. He comes from a state that you need to win. I am told that no one has ever won the presidency without winning Indiana. Also, it helps that he is so experienced with foreign policy. Something Obama is not.

• Sen. Joe Biden (DE): God, this guy is a lot of fun. He's a Roman Catholic that mouths off and is strong on his positions. In 2006, I actually said I wanted this guy to be Pres. He has been in DC since the 70s, he is moderate when he needs to be, he plays hardball, and has TONS of foreign policy (Chairman of Comm. on Foreign Relations, hello?). I could go on about this guy but...

My Verdict: He reminds too many people of Howard Dean and the fact that he's been in DC for so long plays against Obama's message of change and being an outsider. Also, Delaware?

So, who will Obama pick?: My guess is Bayh. Strategically perfect and has all the foreign experience you could want. I'd like to see Biden, but that won't help. If not any of these, I'd like to see Jim Webb. He was talked about as a choice for so long, but then he was missing on the list this week. The dude is a Dem who was Secretary of the Navy under Reagan. That sounds like a winning combo to me.

As for McCain? I dunno enough about his choices, but I'd guess Romney. He's the fiscal conservative undecided voters can love.

Last Day of July

Ok, so I've been searching for jobs for a little over a month now and still nothing. Luckily, on Saturday I leave to Mexico for a week. I'll try and relax a little. I have a 5-hour layover so I am currently renting movies from iTunes . If you have any suggestions for movies, let me know.

On the plus side, I have now officially stuck to my 3 miles a day plan for a whole month. I feel more energetic and pleasant. Hopefully my week in Mexico won't make me get lazy when I come back.

Also, I am in love with Hulu. I have been watching the third season of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and loving it. Hulu was created by NBC Universal and lets you legally watch shows for free with few commercials. It's guilt free fun and a great place to watch TV shows and movies you've missed because you were busy with work, or in my case, used to be busy with work.

Oh, and all you kids who keep crying about Scrabulous, here's some good news.

Hackers and Rabbits

The city of San Francisco nearly missed being thrown into chaos and all because one guy in their Tech Dept. may have decided to copy the plot from "Die Hard 4." The techie is accused of rigging the city's network to create a meltdown and he is currently sitting in jail awaiting his next day in court. Nevertheless, right before he was arrested, he allegedly made sure network administrators were locked out of the system, which basically means the Sheriff is banging his keyboard right now and screaming, "Dude, I can't check my email!"

I figure the suspect is using this as leverage because the Mayor had to visit him in jail and ask the guy if he could pretty please give him the passwords. I could just imagine the Mayor getting there and talking to the police commissioner:

Mayor: What do we know about this guy?
Commissioner: We searched his clothes and pockets. All we found were USB sticks and lint.
Mayor: Shit, son.

...and now for my new favorite commercial:

Federal Courts Are Totally Tits

Hey, remember in 2004 when we wanted to watch some football and ended up seeing Janet Jackson's "star power?" Well, a federal court ruled today that the FCC was totally bonkers when it fined CBS half a million dollars for an accident that occurred on live television--and I agree! Shit happens on live TV. Deal with it. No one's kid is traumatized from seeing boobs. Give the boy a beer.

This is also great news because it means we can see more great choreography in the future. I just can't get enough of seeing Justin Timberlake with middle-aged women. We've seen him strip Janet Jackson and sing about pleasuring Madonna in under four minutes. So, what's next for JT? Locking lips with Whitney Houston? Provocatively feeding Dolly Parton some pudding at a rest home? Giving Cher a suppository? Nothing brings sexy back like menopause.

Funny Bones

I found a great piece in Time Magazine about the Obama-New Yorker controversy. The NY cartoon satirizes dumb people who think Obama is a Muslim terrorist. The irony in all this is that the people complaining about the cartoon seem to be as dumb, if not dumber, than the people the cartoon satirizes.

However, I wonder if these people who are complaining are making a big stink for other reasons. What if they actually understand that it is satire but think that the rest of us are all too dumb to get it and will then vote McCain? From reading the comments that are posted on the columns about this issue, it seems like that is the underlying reason.

"Don't reference the other side's attacks or even think about making fun of the candidate. Your joke could make us lose the election and this election is important. If you say or do anything that hurts our chances of winning we will condemn you and maybe even boycott your business. Winning is more important than your freedom of speech. Don't worry, though, you can have it back when this is all over. This is just temporary. I promise."

I didn't like it when the right used this logic a few years ago and I don't like it when the left uses it for its own purposes now.

Still, I will vote for Obama. I think the country needs to fix its image on the world stage and I do get the sense that Obama can do this better than McCain. However, the childishness and hypersensitivity displayed over this issue doesn't exactly make me want to cheer, "Go Dems!"

The Idiocracy Is Coming

Although it is a very silly movie, the concept of "Idiocracy" is just so damned funny that you can't help but admire the idea and worry whether or not it might come true.

In "Idiocracy," one man (Luke Wilson) is cryogenically frozen for just a bit too long. He awakens 500 years in the future and finds that the world is dumb. Really, really dumb. The reason? Dumb people breed like rabbits even though they can't afford all those kids and smart people say they want to "wait" until their careers are stable enough before they have kids. The smart people, however, wait too long, and, ladies, as you know, once you hit 40 it gets pretty hard to put a bun in the oven. Thus, natural selection makes the "stupid" choice.

Just how stupid? Well, in the future, everyone's favorite show is "Ow! My Balls!," the President is a pro-wrestler and Starbucks has become a chain... of brothels.

Anyway, I was reminded of this movie when I saw all the complaints about the latest cover of The New Yorker.

The publication has repeatedly explained that this cover is meant to be satirical and that it pokes fun at comments made about Obama by right-wing pundits. I guess if you don't read the magazine that often, I can see how the context might be missing, but isn't this image ridiculous enough? Nevertheless, many people still take it literally including Obama's camp. People have said it is offensive and in bad taste. Too many columnists have already written great pieces in rebuttal to this unfounded outrage, so I'll just list my favorite arguments:

• Obama's campaign made things worse by complaining. They should have laughed it off and said something witty like, "Look how well they drew Michelle!" It would have made Obama look much cooler and smarter.
• The New Yorker is often considered a liberal and high-brow magazine that has traditionally included satire. How could you confuse this cartoon for anything else?
• Has our society's concept of freedom of speech become so corrupted that we are nearing a "Dutch prophet" level of outrage? Ok, maybe, that's an extreme example, but when was the last time someone made such a big deal about political satire?
  

Disclosure: I'm voting for Obama in November. Still, I agree with the sentiments expressed by one columnist in the SF Chronicle: Lighten up, people!

July Happenings

Things are sure picking up in my neck of the woods. I am about to own my first car. I have been printing ads from vehix.com like crazy and I am leaning toward a used Saturn with less than 60,000 miles on it. I'm going to peruse the car lots next week and I know everyone hates dealing with car salesmen, but I'm going to enjoy this. Why? Well, I like to pretend like the salseman is an employee that I am five minutes away from firing. Also, I have watched a lot of "House" this past week and studied his particular brand of behavior to prepare myself for this.

On another note, the job hunt is going excellent. I was waiting on a contact from NBC, but since that is taking awhile (and hey, these guys are busy so I don't blame them), I'm being extra cautious and I have restarted my vigorous application program. I have finally perfected the art of writing cover letters, so all is well. In just two days, I have applied to twelve more jobs (Warner Bros., Disney, CBS, ABC) and I think there are two that I just might be a shoe-in for.

I was also tickled by an opening for an editor position at DC Comics. I didn't realize until after I applied that the job is in New York. However, if for some reason I actually get a call...why the hell not? Otherwise, it's L.A. all the way for me.

I'm also looking at some awesome apartments in L.A., particularly in Burbank. Great spots with air conditioning, garbage disposal and a pool all for under $600 a month.

Lastly, good news! I have stuck to my "3 miles a day" jogging routine for a week now. I'm about to head out right now for a jog, but I have to say: I'm excited for this new life post-college.

Runner's High

Update: Trying out a new blog design here. The theme sort of matches my title (which I rushed so I could start writing sooner), but I may change the design back because I think the new one hurts my eyes. Thoughts?

Okay. I'm making a public announcement: The last few days I have been jogging. A lot. It helps me clear my head and I feel pretty good after I've done three miles. I tell you this so that I will continue to do this "healthy" exercise.

Why does this help? Well, when people bug me everyday and ask me how my routine is going, I don't like having to give the embarrassing answer of, "I'm a big stupid quitter. Sorry." Thus, the incentive for me to run is now "embarrassment prevention." Every week, I plan to add an extra mile to my routine. I imagine at some point there will be a day where I say, "Okay, you can keep jogging everyday, but you can't run 50 miles a day. You're not Forrest Gump... and you'll probably die." Until then, we'll see what I can endure.

Side Note: I considered adding the clause "OR AM I?!" after the "Forrest Gump" remark but then I realized you would think less about the physical challenges I have proposed and more about, um, "mental challenges." Too late, though, because you're already thinking about it, aren't you? I hate you.

Lastly, as controversy continues to surround the upcoming Olympics, I'm going to have to take a rare stance and actually agree with Bush on this one. For me, the Olympics are about every country dropping the dramas and getting along just for a little bit. It's a nice sentiment and I fail to see the benefit of a boycott. I say relish the spirit of the games. Then, everyone can go back to protesting and hating each other.

I'm Over "Overproduced"

Ok, I'm guilty of using the word as well, but as I was driving up to Berkeley yesterday, I decided that music critics need to wipe the word, "overproduced," from their lexicons. It is a phrase that says and means nothing, but is used in many ways such as:

1) When the critic thinks there are too many instruments in a song. Okay, come on. That's not what you really mean. If having lots of instruments in a song makes it bad, then why the hell does everyone gush about the London Philharmonic? No, what you mean to say is that you hate that someone added an annoying tambourine part to a song that could have otherwise been good. So say that. Say the tambourine sucks and move on.

2) When the critic thinks there are too many effects. Oh, you don't like the reverb on that track? Hate the use of "phaser" on the lead guitar? Really not digging the clicks, bleeps and bloops added by the keyboard? Well, then I respect your opinion because all of that tells me much more than the word "overproduced."

3) When the critic thinks the band or solo artist had writer's block. Sounds like the guy was trying too hard, huh? As if there was no emotion or inspiration involved and the band was just calculating what group of rhythms would lead to a hit single? Again, all of that tells me more than the word "overproduced."

4) When the critic thinks the band had little say in the music and the guy at the soundboard was trying to call all the shots and make his own album. So, the band wanted to create a breakthrough rock album, but it sounds like the producer made it into a rock-opera instead? Hey, now you're telling me something about the album. This is interesting, however, you might also want to ponder the relationships between producers and bands before you elaborate further.

"Overproduced" was a term that was more commonly used in the business world when factories made too much of their product and didn't sell enough. How did this cross over into the music world?

Well, no more. "Overproduced," I banish thee.

I'm Not a Film Major, But...

Far be it from me to tell a woman how to live her life or how to act. I've seen plenty of men do this and many a guy write a column about it and they all end up looking silly and caveman-ish. So, ladies, you'll receive no judgment from me here today.

Anyway, I've been scratching my head at something I read in The New Yorker today. It's an incredibly witty film review of "Sex and the City" by Anthony Lane, but it also poses some interesting questions.

In all honesty, the show and the movie have never really been my thing, but if you enjoy it, nothing wrong with that either. TV is for entertainment.

Nevertheless, Lane remarks that the film sends some mixed messages as Carrie remarks that her friend fills the void in her marriage by having her husband buy her expensive things, all the while Mr. Big is also wooing Carrie by purchasing expensive closets and other such items for her. Lane then wonders if the film is giving some bad advice:

"At least, you could argue, Miranda has a job, as a lawyer. But the film pays it zero attention, and the other women expect her to drop it and fly to Mexico without demur. (And she does.) Worse still is the sneering cut as the scene shifts from Carrie, carefree and childless in the New York Public Library, to the face of Miranda’s young son, smeared with spaghetti sauce. In short, to anyone facing the quandaries of being a working mother, the movie sends a vicious memo: Don’t be a mother. And don’t work. Is this really where we have ended up—with this superannuated fantasy posing as a slice of modern life? On TV, “Sex and the City” was never as insulting as “Desperate Housewives,” which strikes me as catastrophically retrograde, but, almost sixty years after “All About Eve,” which also featured four major female roles, there is a deep sadness in the sight of Carrie and friends defining themselves not as Bette Davis, Anne Baxter, Celeste Holm, and Thelma Ritter did—by their talents, their hats, and the swordplay of their wits—but purely by their ability to snare and keep a man. Believe me, ladies, we’re not worth it."

Now, I did not see this movie, so I do not know if this is true. However, I'm wondering if Lane is right or over-exaggerating the film's influence.

I, like, many other men, really enjoy watching "Entourage," which has often been dubbed the "Sex and the City" for men. It has four guys who are close friends, spend a lot of money and date a lot. So, yeah, it's pretty similar. Still, while I don't speak for all men, I would say that I realize this as "all in good fun." This is not how I would spend my entire life. All the same, I love this show. It's fun and entertaining.

So, I would assume, that for women, this is also true of "Sex and the City." It's entertaining to see fun-loving people do all the things you'd like to do at least once, but are less likely to get around to. Then again, I could be wrong and maybe this is exactly the lifestyle that many women want. Of course, though, just as not all men are the same, neither are all women. So it isn't really safe to generalize.

Anyway, to all my female friends out there, just out of curiosity and for fun, what do you make of Lane's comments?

Blasted in San Francisco

My evening yesterday consisted of wearing a mask, eating babies and fire. Wait! I can explain everything, but to fully understand what happened, we must start from the beginning...

It was about 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday when my friend Robert (also known as Spackles or Spax for short*) and I decided to take the BART from Berkeley to San Francisco. Spax's new girlfriend Brie was along for the ride and we were to meet up with his friend Mark to snag some tickets for a play up in the city. We didn't really know what this play was about, but seeing as Spax had kicked my ass in Mario Kart and had treated me to some amazing pizza at Zachary's, I figured I would follow his lead on this one.

When we got to SF, Spax informed me that the play was at the Mosser Hotel--a pretty fancy establishment that is nearly 100 years old. However, when we entered the Mosser, things got a little strange.

A British man in his twenties approached us and asked us if we were here to see the performance. Following our reply, he then handed us each a black cloth and instructed us to put it on and leave it on for the duration of the show. The cloths had the eye and mouth holes cut into them.

I looked at Spax and gave him the "What kind of shit did you get us into?" look. We were then escorted by the Briton upstairs and into a pretty nice hotel room. As I walked with this terrorist-looking mask on my face through the hotel with the other theater-goers I overheard one hotel guest call the front desk and ask if he "should be worried." If I could have, I probably would have told the guy, "No, you don't have anything to worry about, but I think I do."


Soon enough we were all placed into a hotel room and the door was shut behind us. Then, the phone call. Spax picked up the room phone and said:
"Hey they want to know if anyone is epileptic or has heart problems."

One guy raised his hand.

Spax on the phone to the production guys: "Yeah there's one guy."
Spax on the phone to us: "They say help yourself to the drinks in the room and feel free to use the bathroom."

...and then this older guy and a young woman walked in and Blasted began. Here's what I can tell you about the play. We were all in this hotel room for two hours watching this show with our terrorist masks on. The play is about a tabloid hack and his epileptic girlfriend (well, sort-of girlfriend) as they hide out in an apartment during a war. I don't know which war, but it felt like WWIII. Half-way through, things get pretty crazy. Shit blows up. There are raids and, yes, a scene involving the devouring of a dead baby.

I have to say, despite the craziness of the play, it was a fun experience and this one British guy who played a crazy soldier was pretty damn good. Aside from that, though, there are some things that we have decided to never talk about...

As such, after the play was over, we needed beer. So we looked around town for an open bar and we found one...that was on fire. Yes, four foot flames were attacking The Chieftain's alleyway. Luckily, a bartender worked his magic (I dunno what he did, but that fire got its ass kicked) and we were in business.

It was a lot like that story in the Bible were God gives Moses a sign by setting a bush on fire...except this time, it was like God was saying, "Drink here, Nicholas."

(I always imagine that if there is a God, he would be very proper, but he would also like Guinness.)

As we entered the bar, a mostly drunk man complimented the bartender for his fire skills and then hollered at a group of young women and informed them that they caused the fire because "they are so hot."

As we sat down for a beer, the British chaps from the play entered the bar and joined us. They were pretty funny. One guy said that at a previous performance, when he was wearing his soldier/terrorist gear for the play, he somewhat conveniently ran into Prince Edward, who for some reason was staying in the adjacent room. Edward pulled this actor aside and had him checked out. He then told the young thespian in not so many words, "You're lucky. If you had gone downstairs like that without being cleared, the body guards would have shot you on site." Also, the guy said they put the show together in two weeks. That's kind of amazing.

*The story of Spackles: When Robert was a freshman in high school he made it through the auditions to join the school's awesome improv troupe, Sanguine Humours, which I later joined in 2003 and stayed in until I graduated. At one of hist first meetings with his new team members, our mutual friend, Danny, welcomed Robert and talked to him for a good amount of time, until suddenly he realized:

"Hey, you don't remember my name, do you, Robert?"

Robert wasn't sure what to tell Danny. At which point, Danny said, "From now on, your name is Spackles and that is what we'll call you." Much like the name, it stuck, and somehow everyone at school began calling him this. I know, not the most amazing story, but, hey, I gave you the background and now Robert can send me hate mail. Sorry, dude!

Movie Time

Update: Apparently my prediction about Batman 3 might actually be true! Also, I made a rather off the cuff remark about Adam Sandler below. I know he won't read this, but anyway, Adam, my bad. I liked you in Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison and Punch Drunk Love and I am excited to see how Funny People turns out. I actually used to imitate his routines in junior high and I'm sure he's a lot of fun to work with.

Ok, I ate and now I can write about the three upcoming summer movies I am eagerly awaiting.


WALL-E (June 27): This is the new Pixar film about a cute little robot who gets himself into all kinds of misadventures. It's basically the Voyage of R2D2. I have high hopes for this film as it's developed by the same think-tank team that did Toy Story and Finding Nemo. I hope they do it right. The original teasers made it look like WALL-E was on some existential journey to find himself with these great/cute scenes of him looking into the sky as he is stuck by himself doing menial tasks. It also had great physical comedy and hell, I would be really impressed if they kept dialogue to a minimum.

I know it's a kids movie, but the subsequent trailers have centered on WALL-E finding a love interest and meeting other quirky characters. I think it's a cooler idea to see a kids movie about finding yourself as opposed to the old school Disney romance flick. You know, leave something there for us young adults. If it focuses on the former rather than the latter, we have ourselves a cartoon classic.



The Dark Knight (July 18): No way can this be bad! Oustanding director and great cast with a very dark (duh) storyline. I know everyone's excited to see Heath Ledger's take on the Joker and I'm sure it will be phenomenal, but I'm personally looking forward to Aaron Eckhart's portrayal of Harvey Dent. Spoiler Alert Below.

Dent turns into Two Face in this film and the word is Director Christopher Nolan really makes you feel for this one. I mean, he's a good guy who becomes horribly disfigured and becomes hell-bent on revenge. In many ways, he's Batman's doppelganger.

Also, expect Cillian Murphy back as the Scarecrow. The film will continue its look into the mafia crime world of Gotham and I'll bet Eric Roberts rocks as mob boss Maroni (the rival to Falcone from the last film). He's also the guy that turns Dent into Two Face in the comics.

Now, this movie focuses a lot on the psychology of its bad guys, which unfortunately did not work for Tim Burton's Batman Returns, but in the trailer you see Batman focus on who he has to become in order to face these guys. Thus, the movie will not forget to develop its title character and (I believe) it will succeed where Batman Returns failed.

Predictions: Scarecrow goes to jail, the Joker dies and Two Face gets away.

Batman 3?: They'll definitely do a third one and I think Two Face will be in it. As for the possibility of other villains? I suppose the Penguin could work if you plot him against Two Face (two disfigured men with different ideas of justice), but I guess that would just end up being the same plot as the Dark Knight. Definitely no on the Riddler, Catwoman, Poison Ivy or Mr. Freeze. Still have the bad taste in my mouth from the 90's films.

Batman 3 would continue cleaning up the mobs in Gotham. Mob boss could be Lew Moxon, the guy who hired Joe Chill to kill Bruce's parents, but that might be too Spider-Man 3. Perhaps the other villain will be Holiday or Hangman, which forces Batman to question himself. These guys get rid of mobsters that are ruining the city, but they resort to murder. Batman would have to ask himself: Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

End of nerdiness.



Pineapple Express (August 8): I love Judd Apatow! The 40 Year Old Virgin, Superbad, Knocked Up and Forgetting Sarah Marshall are some of the best comedies of the decade. This film combines two of Apatow's Freaks & Geeks stars (Seth Rogen and James Franco). The story is essentially this: Rogen buys a special blend of weed called Pineapple Express from his buddy Franco. As he is about to smoke it in his car, he witnesses a murder and flips out. The bad guys see him leave and he accidentally drops the bag of PE, which is so rare that it is incredibly traceable, meaning the Feds are on his trail, too. I'm interested to see what happens as this will be Apatow's first comedy that doubles as an action film. I only worry that his recent time with Adam Sandler may have tainted his funny bone. Hopefully, that doesn't happen.

Job Hunting USA

So I have applied to 11 jobs so far. I made "contact" with one employer and was rejected from a managing editor position at Canon LLC, which was expected seeing as I am just starting out. I'm really crossing my fingers on this one job. I won't say where it is just yet (I'm afraid I'll jinx it), but the odds are good. I am surprised at how many great jobs opened up during this past week especially for entry level positions.

I'm kind of glad I didn't worry about job hunting during my last quarter of school since the few times I peeked on craigslist or monster, the jobs looked pretty lame. Also, I know a lot of my friends and fellow co-workers tried to snag a job during this time and it seems like it was unfortunately a lot of grief that didn't lead to anywhere.

Anyway, sorry for this boring post (all two of you who read this). I'm hungry, though, so maybe when I have my late afternoon lunch I'll have something to write about, although I have some ideas.

Next Time: I'll try and talk about some movies I'm really excited about and maybe I'll discuss this really stupid idea I have for a play that I'm writing (sort of).

Surviving Silicon Valley

I love my hometown and all its little quirks, but it's a little too Twilight Zone for me.

Last night, my brother and I went to the old bowling alley in nearby Cupertino: Homestead Lanes. I've thought about it and I feel that this place alone captures Sunnyvale and its surrounding areas perfectly. While Sunnyvale and its neighbors are the pioneers of technology (Yahoo, Google, Netflix), the area is forever trapped in the past. Let's examine the elements of Homestead Lanes that clearly match the area's culture:

• No Songs After 2003: Like the radio stations in the area, the music the DJ played at Homestead Lanes was dated. It was a "Cosmic" bowling night, too, which is basically when Fun plays under dim lights and buys a pair of clown shoes and a 12 pound ball. I wouldn't mind having old music if it's at least classic rock, but we're talking the worst of 90's alternative and early 00's hip hop. All of my nightmares were there: Sugar Ray, Alanis Morissette, Alien Ant Farm, 98 Degrees and, of course, Ma$e.
• Sausage Fest: The hardest part about growing up here was the lack of the opposite sex. I know that a bowling alley isn't really a place that women flock to, but come on! Of the 60 people at the bowling alley, I counted the existence of only four women. The town is like this, too. It's like women know this is an area full of engineers and techies. I suspect that the women all hide out in San Francisco or some hipper town, like, I dunno, Mountain View or Los Altos?
• Nineties Fashion: I'm not particularly concerned with the way people dress, but it is hard to feel like you are in the city of progress when zoombas and neon colored clothing are still in abundance. Everywhere I looked I saw a character from "Pete & Pete."
• Strangeness: Sunnyvale-Cupertino has its characters. The bowling alley has a bar...with karaoke. Now, I actually enjoy karaoke, but I think it is only good for when there are a lot of people and everyone is drunk. At the bar, there were five people. A 30-year-old woman and her mom were belting out lyrics as three men in their fifties, who were not in any way acquainted, gazed at them with drunken smiles.
  

Having said that, there are also some awesome things to do in the area:

Rooster T. Feather's Comedy Club: This place gets some of the best comedians and every time I go, the acts are even better. Many funny men have traveled through this club including Dana Carvey, Gary Shandling, Jerry Seinfeld and Robin Williams. They serve $3 margaritas and it is actually the location of the first pong machine.

Murphy's Pub & the Adjacent Hookah Spot: Great drinks and blend of Irish pub and sports bar. It frequently has live music with terrific covers of songs people are actually familiar with and there is no entrance fee. Additionaly, I forget the name of the place, but next door to the pub is an awesome hookah bar with an outdoor area and a big screen TV with a full service bar. It also serves some decently priced Middle Eastern cuisine.

Spoon's Bar & Grill: It's your typical family sports bar, except they have trivia! Everyone in the bar gets a little electronic keypad and the TV screens in the bar are set to a channel that has trivia all day long. You not only compete in the bar but with the 1,000 other locations in the U.S. that run this game.

Blue Bonnet Bar: Triple-B is a triple threat as far as dive bars go. Free peanuts, cheap drinks and a great selection of entertainment. The place is fully stocked with pool tables, darts, pinball and pac-man. The place also has live music from time to time. The bartenders are also fantastic as they are really nice to the young crowds and tell great stories. The Metro describes it as "a biker bar without the bikers."

Now, the only problem with Silicon Valley/Bay Area, is its lack of good events. The theater productions are actually pretty good, but holy crap, let me show you what I mean:

June 25: 2008 U.S. Air Guitar Tour in San Francisco. Well, actually, this is kind of awesome, but it might stop being funny after 15 minutes.

June 28: More Than Popcorn: The Life of Orville Redenbacher in San Jose. The description of the event from The Wave Magazine is as follows: "Join Kevin Fish, grandson of Orville Redenbacher, for an informative talk and slideshow about how his grandfather turned his obsession with making perfect popcorn into a multimillion dollar business."

The Escape Bar & Grill on Fridays and Sundays in San Jose: This place sounds really awesome for every other day of the week as they even have pool tournaments. However, Sunday night is "Mullet Madness" and Friday is dubbed, "Ladies Cougar Night." This is actually in the ad as is the notice that every day is $2 Pabst day.

Welcome back.

Summer Time: Dumb in the Sun

It's the weekend so I can take a break from job hunting now (theoretically). Anyway, I'm stuck in the Bay Area indefinitely so I'm finding things to do. Here are a few of those things:

Music: I've been listening to two albums repeatedly for the last few months, but I find that they are also perfect for the summer.


"Vampire Weekend" by Vampire Weekend: These guys are from the east coast and they are incredibly catchy. It's a splash of indie-alternative with a dash of afro-pop and reggae rhythm. I am seeing them in September and I have one extra ticket if someone would like to go with me.

Favorite Songs: "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" and "M79"



"A New Chance" by The Tough Alliance: Even catchier than Vampire Weekend. Hands down my favorite album of the year. These guys are from Sweden and they blend "world" music with pop and new wave flare. I haven't been this into a band since I discovered The New Pornographers in high school.

Favorite Songs: "Looking for Gold" and "Neo Violence"



Books: I tend to be all over the place with my summer reading, but anyway here is what I've picked up.

The O. Henry Prize Stories 2008: I love American short stories. They are quirky as hell. This book picks the 20 best short stories from the past year. The stories have appeared in publications like The New Yorker and give you a pretty good idea of the common themes that are being touched upon by writers these days. If you like a quick read or you are a writer who likes to see how you compare, this book is pretty nifty. Amazon.com's description: includes stories about "a teenager in survivalist Alaska, the seed keeper of a doomed Chinese village [and] a young woman trying to save her life in a Ukrainian internet café."

"When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris: I just got this today courtesy of my brother's girlfriend. I'm hoping it's pretty kick ass. Amazon.com's description: "In David Sedaris's excellent latest collection, cringe-worthy moments follow on the heels of laugh-out-loud ones--you may never buy another pair of thrift-store pants, for example, and that's only the beginning."



Next Time: Okay, I'm tired of blogging. I found some neat bars and an AMAZING hookah place in downtown Sunnyvale. I also found some interesting events. I'll leave these for my next post. Also, as you can see, I'm still finding a writing style/voice that I want to use on this blog. I also need LOTS of help figuring out how to embed videos and music. I know the code to add links, but is there an easier way than just doing the "a href" stuff every time?

Hello Web

Alright, blogosophere, you win.

What to Expect: Reviews, columns (both informed and misinformed), inane thoughts, finds and maybe some short stories or sketch ideas. If I ever do a news article, I will clearly mark it as such and I promise to make it as objective as I can.

What Not to Expect: High School.